In the first step we acknowledge the most glaring symptom of our alcoholism: our inability to control our drinking, no matter how high the price.
In step two, when I come to believe that no human power can relieve me of my alcoholism, I take a look back at step one and realize it is not just my drinking that I lack, but the ability to manage. I find out my whole external world—material, relationships, prestige—were never my problem. I believe this is why twelve-step fellowships can use the exact same 12 steps with an interchangeable word in Step 1. "We admitted we were powerless over <fill in the blank>"... If none of these things are the cause of my suffering, then what is?
The third step brings us to the source of our problem. It proposes that every single painful moment throughout my whole entire life has one common denominator: selfishness and self-centeredness. This condition—called a spiritual malady in the Big Book—seems to be the default setting of the alcoholic. All of my thoughts, actions, and words are driven by fear and I have no idea it's happening.
I'd like to highlight this unawareness… This perception of my experience that I have found in the 12 steps, the realization that all of my problems are of my own making, was found in hind-sight. As I began to apply these principles to my life for the first time, I placed a lot of blind trust in the experience of my sponsor.
Speaking of blind trust, I'd like to reflect on the condition an alcoholic must be in to make have the kind of trust required to make this decision. By nature, turning our will over to the care of God does not generally look like a good idea to me. Over time, I developed a set of my own ideas that looked far greater. I'd stay up all night worried about what people were thinking about me, under the delusion that acceptance by others would bring me happiness. I'd invest countless hours at work, under the delusion that money would bring me happiness. I'd work excessively on my external appearance, under the delusion that physical attraction would bring me happiness. The list could go on forever. Being driven by these delusions (self-centered fear/spiritual malady), I incessantly tried to manage every department of my external life.
The ideas I had were beaten out of me, one painful experience after another. Unfortunately (or fortunately), the death of my spirit happened long before my inevitably slow physical death. I became more and more desperate as I realized my best ideas for happiness and contentment were no longer working. I was at the point where I couldn't see the problem, but I knew I was out of answers. I had failed miserably at managing my own life. This is the condition in which an alcoholic must find himself before he gets the willingness to make the decision presented in the third step. What the Big Book describes as the "jumping-off place".
The most logical question at this point is "How do I turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him?" Simple Prayer followed by action under the guidance of someone with experience of the same. The third step prayer followed by a written moral inventory is the path suggested in the Big Book. To stop managing my life, I had to do things that weren't my idea and that I didn't understand. Willingness was indispensable and pain was my motivating factor.
If the third step looks like a once-and-done task you can check off your list, you've completely missed the point. The longer I practice these spiritual principles, the more truth I see in myself. I get to see my lack of trust in God's will in all of my affairs. Every single fear, doubt, and insecurity I experience today is driven by the notion that my life isn't going the way I think it should (self-centered fear). In this condition, I often successfully "take my will back" and fall under the delusion that my plans are better than the plans made by the Creator of the universe. The solution to my dilemma is always the same—that is the beauty of spiritual principles. I constantly need to seek a new experience with God through service to others. It is my medicine / my "daily bread" / the maintenance of my spiritual condition.
Notice the saying "faith without works is dead" in several places throughout the Big Book? I later read a passage on a church's stained-glass mural that said "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead." Upon further investigation, I found this came from the book of James in the Bible. Upon even further investigation, I found that Dr. Bob Smith's wife, Ann, used this passage during her own prayers and, in turn, inspired the co-founders to use it throughout the Big Book. The spirit of the message is that I find no results in faith alone. My third-step prayer means nothing unless I take immediate action. I must keep moving my feet and take the actions suggested in the next step.