I believe that one of the most important things we need to do to be able to help someone in AA is to lower their feelings of difference. To make them see that their case is NOT different. We do that by identification, we show them we were just once as hopeless as they currently are. We relate to the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of alcoholism. We share this from our heart, based on our experience. We are not there to lecture or speak down to them or even diagnose them. We simply are there to share our experience if they care to have it.
My sponsor didn't tell me what my problem was and tell me what I had to do, he told me what his problem was, and what he did. This is much more effective because it relieved me of the thought that this man has no right to tell me what my problem is and what my answer is if he doesn't even know me. After my sponsor shared his experience with the problem and solution I was now ready to take action I didn't believe in, agree with, or even understand!!!! This is because he lowered my feeling that my case was different and I was able to identify with him on a level where I didn't know him but somehow I trusted him enough to take direction now.
I believe this is the power of the principle of one alcoholic sharing with another for free and fun. This is where we come to the conclusion that I need you just as much as you need me. My sponsor would always thank me after we talked, saying I was helping him more than he was helping me. I found this to be true when I started sharing with others as he did me.
As far as the word sponsor, I personally don't like it. First it gives us a feeling of two separate levels in AA. The sponsor and sponsee, like it's something we achieve and we are now on a higher plane than you. This is not good for my ego and I always have to remember who is in charge, God not me. We are all equal in AA, all just trusted servants. But it is just a word and when I'm in AA everyone knows what I'm talking about when I use it, so I do. We walk shoulder to shoulder with someone through these spiritual principles (steps) together and as far as that goes, then we are more friends than anything when done with steps.
My sponsor made it very clear that his job was to take my hand and put it in the hand of God, then let go so I have one hand in God's hand and the other open for the suffering alcoholic. I was to become God dependent, not sponsor dependent. No human power can relieve my alcoholism. So if I was to use the word sponsor it's when I'm actively sharing my experience with someone through the steps, once we are done I really don't sponsor them anymore but God does.
I have so much love for the man who brought me through the steps, my sponsor. I could never pay him back for what he has bestowed upon me, which is a relationship with God and a formula to help others. He will always be my sponsor, because he has already done everything he can for me, now my job is very simple. Stay close to God through prayer, meditation, inventory, confession, amends, and service to others. LOVE AND SERVICE.
You can feed me a fish for a night, or teach me to fish and feed me for a lifetime. You can take me through the steps and show me relief, or you can show me how to help others through these steps and have relief for a lifetime. So obviously, I'm not always on the spiritual beam and can fall into delusion of self-centered fear very quickly, if not daily. So I have now made a close friend with the person who has taken me through the steps for free and fun who is available to help nudge me back to God when needed, or anyone who I become close with who is also walking this path.
Why limit yourself to just one person to go to? It is also selfish to put that much responsibility on a human being. They too could be in delusion and now both of you are screwed, and they can't always and forever be available to you.
This is just my opinion based on my experience; whatever works for you is fine. There is no right or wrong way to do things in AA. Just remember you are to be happy, joyous, and free.