Can a belief system in a society, such as AA, really attempt to pressure someone into not acting on their urges? In other words, is it really about what we believe intellectually or is it what we feel in our hearts and our souls? Is it really possible that your typical human being is not aware of the prices and consequences for his addictive behaviors? What is the solution? Can you easily take a bone from a dog, without offering him a steak? What ARE we offering them to replace the urge or desire? What are we offering that could be so attractive that the urge is effectively benign? You can tell him he needs to stop and remain abstinent, but what are you going to replace the need with?
How about a genuinely full heart and soul?
Can spiritual awareness (a genuinely full heart & soul) be brought on by intellectual gymnastics? Feeding the head with "right and wrong" ideals does not seem to me to be effective in bringing fullness to the heart and soul. It seems to me to be equivalent to pouring fuel on a fire...a fire that will need to be relieved, probably by the same behavior that I am essentially trying to avoid. Attempting to find an answer in my intellect, when my mind is full of committee meetings that don't let me get a word in is a ridiculous attempt to just add one more screaming voice to the mix. So the answer to this question about finding a solution through intellectual approaches is absolutely… NO.
When I engage in a substance or a behavior that is "outside" of the realm of the kind of man that I acknowledge I want to be, but am obviously capable of being...knowing the prices I am going to pay for that behavior...what would cause me to do that? I'm not stupid, blind and I don't have a memory problem, so again...what would cause me to do that? The only thing that could cause me to do this is if the substance or behavior appears to be the "lesser of two evils". In other words, my current perception or current sober state of being must be worse than my perception of the prices I am going to pay for making those choices. I know I'm going to pay prices, but I don't care… right now, I just want relief.
So it seems to me that I must (a) do something to ensure that my current sober state of being is pure & enjoyable, more attractive than the alternative, and at the same time, (b) not forget what prices are waiting for me if I stray outside of that envelope that I have determined is the kind of man I want to be. So what will give me both (a) and (b)?
How about sitting down quietly and sharing my experiences with another one of my brothers or sisters who I walk this earth with, that is hurting and more importantly...wants my help? Even if this person doesn't believe a word I have to say...by sharing it with them, provided my motives are pure and I only want to help them, worse case scenario, I have reminded me. Best case scenario, I've reminded me AND nudged them in the direction of "hope", expressing to them that the way to maintain this hope is to do the same for someone else.
This act of "one-on-one" sharing will fill my heart up, change my current perception and cause me to not forget what is waiting for me if I stop trying to help my brothers and sisters "effectively". Here I have accomplished both (a) and (b) mentioned above. Real "effectiveness" is when I take all my information and all my experiences and put them into "practical application" by sharing them, one-on-one, with "you". I hope and pray that you can feel my heart right now. It is full, because I am thinking of you, rather than thinking of myself. As soon as I go back to thinking about myself… my heart gets a little empty and my mind starts screaming again.
A "principle", as I'm using the word is: "Something that applies to all people equally". For instance, gravity is a principle of nature. Gravity does not care if I believe in gravity or not. Gravity does not care if I got pushed off the building, if I jumped off or if I fell. Gravity just is… and it applies to all people equally.
So the principle that we are trying to express is that this act of "One person sharing with another" will work every time, even if I don't realize that this is what I am doing. When I discuss with people the similarities between the Washingtonians in the mid 1800's , the Oxford Groups in the early 1900's and then the eventual break-off from the Oxford Groups in the late 1930's which soon became Alcoholics Anonymous...the point that I am attempting to express is that all three of these organizations seem to have begun when two, sometimes more, but usually two people found themselves in a set of circumstances, coincidence or divine intervention (Who Cares?), sitting down and sharing with each other their experiences and the result was "Hope". Not just hope in the heart of the person attempting to get help, but just as important and extremely necessary for us to note… hope in the heart of the one attempting to help someone.
Just like the principle of "gravity"… this principle does not care whether I engaged in "one person, sharing with another" by accident or on purpose… I engaged in it because I wanted to help and I got the results… a full soul… Hope.
I like to use the Doctor's Opinion in the Big Book and the History of the three previously mentioned organizations to get my point across.
When done the desired result is that this person that I am trying to help understands what I mean by the following definitions or concepts:
The most obvious point that I like to draw from the "Doctor's Opinion" is that this absolutely loving and caring human being, who was obviously intelligent, well informed and who committed his whole life and career to helping the street drunk… who had a remarkable success rate with alcoholics… went to his grave never understanding one type of alcoholic… he referred to him as the "hopeless variety". I believe this hopeless variety is the alcoholic who has the spiritual malady to some extreme degree that it overrides all of his best judgments. This doctor seems to have never experienced this malady that I believe is referred to as "spiritual" only because we cannot deny the existence of it, but it is too big to be described in intellectual terms. The best comparison I can come up with is to hold a baby in your arms and look into the baby's eyes… you cannot deny what that does to your heart and soul, but to put words together to accurately describe it would be difficult. This is the same place where that emptiness takes place as well as the awareness happens when I treat it. I believe that Dr. Silkworth would have surrendered his degrees and license to practice medicine for the ability to reach out and touch those hopeless people like the alcoholic can. In other words, what we have is a gift. A gift from our creator that we can use to touch the hearts of people that no one else can… not the best doctors, clergymen, teachers or even loving significant others. You and I can touch them simply by sharing our experience with them, provided we have experience with the solution.
The Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book refers to the "Real Alcoholic" in Chapter 2. The way I read this they are referring to the man or woman who has a spiritual malady. If you research the word "alcohol" or "alcoholic", you will find the Latin root of the word is "es spiritus". Not rocket science… we see "Wines and Spirits" all over the front of liquor stores. But which came first… the chicken or the egg? It seems to me that common English speaking men have been referring to alcoholism as a spiritual condition as far back as biblical days. It has only been since the turn of the twentieth century that we have been referring to an alcoholic as someone who has a drinking problem. The drink treats the spiritual condition… the scientists named the chemical ethyl-alcohol. Now, all of the sudden, the common man thinks that alcoholism is a result of excessive drinking… I think excessive drinking is a result of alcoholism… the spiritual malady. If all I do is put down the drink… I still have the spiritual malady… real alcoholism. This means that I could have "real alcoholism" even if I have never picked up a drink or a drug in my life.
There are a lot of human powers on this earth that fill that emptiness in my soul (spiritual malady), however only one that I know of that has an affordable price tag attached. "One Person, Sharing with Another" is free, the supply is abundant and the reward for doing it "consistently" is remarkable. Please note the emphasis on the word "consistently". I believe consistency to be the most powerful force in this universe.
It seems to me that there are people who have many and varied degrees of the physical allergy to addictive behaviors and substances, varied degrees of mental obsession with these addictions and also varied degrees of spiritual malady. I personally believe that the solution to the physical and the mental is sustained abstinence. That's pretty simple. No rocket-science there. However, the solution to the spiritual malady is the same as the solution to hunger. I need to eat when I'm hungry or better yet, eat regularly so that I don't get hungry. I also need to engage in "One Person Sharing with Another" when I get spiritually empty or better yet do this as a way of life to prevent becoming spiritually empty and then as a result allowing those other forms of False Gods or Human Powers to look attractive to my resulting twisted thinking… the peculiar mental twist.
On the www.intoaction.org website, there is a recording that I did a few years back referred to as the "History of AA". It's really a "History of One Person Sharing with Another". I would suggest downloading it… it is available for free… and listening to this with an open-mind, keeping in mind that I don't know if I have all my facts straight, because the purpose was not to give an accurate history lesson… the purpose was to express the principle of "One Alcoholic Sharing with Another" and how it will work even if you don't believe in it… just like "gravity".